Is Poetry dead/dying/dormant? Or maybe alive, well and doing ok since the operation, thank you all the same.

Poetry is being outsourced, and cheap foreign imports are pouring in.

At present, it seems the producers of it far outnumber the consumers of it and it is this fact that's causing debate among the word's finest economists and entrepreneurs. Surely this glut is unsustainable? When does the free market need regulation? Are we in a boom or a bust? But what price do we place on a new poet learning their craft while subsidizing their self-esteem in a localised marketplace?

Then again, how can we seek out the finest produce, when a million pixelates of indignation at being dumped/losing your cat/not liking your job/war in Iraq, might appease a night's suburbia?

When offered the body of a page should just anyone be allowed to make incisions?

Or are we all just performing autopsies? Albeit watching a Vauxhall Astral ascend in a dark, stringent, shimmering arcadia just off the A5.And what's the current body count?

Pass the scalpel muse. Now is that the spleen or the liver? Hmm, oh what the hell.

Er, next.

Background articles: TS Eliot Lecture The Dark Art of Poetry by Don Paterson 09 November 2004 New York Poetry Forum Why Poetry is Dying by Joseph S. Salemi 17 November 2001

Breaking News: Heavily ejected heckler inside until Council Tax is Due

Contrary to reports on mainstream media sites, I can reveal that Walter Wolfgang (WW), the heavily ejected heckler has been detained under the Terrorism act at least until his next Council Tax Payment is Due.

Furthermore a source close to WW has informed those in the know that it was in fact one Roger Wellor (RW), a retired ornament salesman from East Sheen, posing as WW who had taken the red carpet and all the plaudits today on re-entry into the Labour party conference.

Very Good Sandwiches

Speaking with RW earlier I can also exclusively reveal that although not sorry for what he’d done – the sandwiches were “very good” - he has promised to post the complimentary Conference Guide Book to WW when his detainment is over.

Meanwhile WW has been having an open and frank argument with his temporary gaolers over access rights for his 11 year old Jack Russell, “Jack” who is staying with a temperamental friend.

"It is difficult for us as he (WW) keeps interrupting whenever we try to explain the procedure, but we are aware of the need for sensitivity, particularly with old blokes." Said the burly Head of Communications for Sussex police.

On the promenade by the sea

Back at the conference a bouyant but humble John Prescott, Deputy Prime Minister,  threw his weight into softening the impact of what is clearly a “storm in a teacup, on the promenade by the sea”.

“The objectives remain the same and indeed that has been made clear by the Prime Minister in his media dealings today that the objectives are clear and the one about the removal of Walter Wolfgang is not something we could have foreseen as a clear objective to implement but it is possible a consequence that will flow from this years conference that clearly providing protection for Jack Straw made it absolutely clear to all of us that anyone that finds them in that position declares themselves an enemy and that clearly is a matter for these objectives.”

Walking his dogs

While walking his dogs around his estate in South Wales the Shadow Home Secretary David Davis said that “There is not a contradiction between security and liberty,”.

A spokesperson for the Stop the War Coalition apologised but his hard drive had crashed and has been unable to draft any response as yet. But asked whether he knew of WW he said “No”.

try again

Try again i feel...

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